I am far from perfect and honestly; I will never be. I've been on the road to improve myself for a long time and for some reason I always end up worse than when I start. What is keep me back? Myself.
I have a lot of traumas that I still haven't confronted head on and when I confront them face to face, I easily give up into negative thoughts about myself. There is an avoidance that I've been feeding for my whole life and now it is a big elephant. I would like to say, "This time I will make it all the way through my transformation", but the reality is I don't know if I will. I will try my best, but my best is often not enough so I have to push the boundaries of my best.
One of my many unhealthy habits is putting too much stuff in my 'to do list', I don't plan realistic goals in a day because I feel like I MUST be able to do more. I must do more to be better but is this counteractive I believe. More is not better if you don't do it right, quality is better than quantity. So, I will focus on tasks that I know I can do, even if they just seem small. There is no point in putting too much in your list and end up feeling worthless because you weren't able to finsh it all. It wasn't a realistic goal to start with so I put myself in the road to failure before I even started. Time to change this!
